Programming kids to be "can-do"ers

Some years ago, my then-hubs and I sponsored freshman cadets at the Air Force Academy. Sponsoring basically means giving them someplace to do laundry, wear real clothes and escape military college life on weekends. We were slack-jawed to discover that one of the girls we were assigned didn't know how to do her own laundry, chop an onion, sew on a button or pay more than the minimum balance on a credit card. Watching her learn to "do" life gave me the idea for The Program.

The Program is a method for giving my kids the gift of life skills. Here's how it goes:

On her 13th birthday, each daughter does her own laundry forever more. Prior to this day I teach her how to sort, what not to put in the dryer, how to hand wash and how to iron. I printed out some Laundry 101 guides from the Web. And - yes - I washed every scrap of their clothing the nights before their birthdays. Then I never do it again.

At age 14, they get the gift of learning to cook. Each kiddo is responsible for planning, cooking and cleaning up one meal a week. It's awesome now to have two nights off a week! And the girls' culinary skills and menus have grown from the time my oldest once presented a single-serving can of soup to feed the three of us. When the younger daughter and I presented her with empty bowls and our most pathetic Oliver Twist voices - "Please, suh, may i have some more?" - she threw a leftover sandwich at us and yelled, "There's the rest of your dinner!" Prepare yourself for some interesting meals early on; it gets better; then it gets great.

15 brings the gift of financial responsibility. I set up a debit card that's a one-way valve from my account and transfer allowance and lunch money weekly. There are phenomenal teen debit and checking programs out there (we like USAA and Wells Fargo) that won't let the kids overdraft. If there's no money, the sale is cancelled. I seeded the accounts with $15, having watched one of my daughter's friends mow through the generous amount of green her mother deposited into the daughter's first checking account. Although my teen sniffed at 15 bucks at first, she appreciated the value of it so much that she spent not a dime of it for many months and now has a healthy savings in addition to her spending money.

When they turn 16, my girls have to get a job. There's nothing like making your own money and being responsible to someone other than parents and teachers to help you discover your own bootstraps. And financial freedom is a beautiful thing.

We haven't reached the 17th-year milestone yet. I'm thinking the "gift" will be researching colleges and scholarships for a couple of set hours weekly. In this economy, that could be a full-time job!